my dad doesn't understand.. there's this concert i really would love to go to, but it's on a school night and 2-sh hours away. him and my mom were talking about it, and WHENEVER anyone mentions a concert he always talks about the They Might Be Giants concert him and tim went to. he always says how it was so loud you couldn't even hear the music properly, and it wasn't worth it. They didn't even stay the entire time. If i wanted to listen to the music, i'd just put on a damn cd. It's seeing the people, i'd like... just hearing them on my comp, or cd, or radio..it's like they're not real people. It'd be so awsome to go to a concert and *see* the singer. KNOW he's real.. be in the same god damn room! that's just a special experience in my opinion. the only concert i've seen was of the Christian group~ Plus One, and i felt that way. seeing is believing. It'd be nice if i could hear things at a concert, but i'd just really like to see ruffie and ben folds ._. i love them so. My dad probably wouldn't care about/understand something like this..
now my nose is all stuffy ._. can't breath... on another note: the dark is nice. i can't see my reflection in the mirror when it's dark. I don't have to worry about looking at myself, i can just stare.. and no one stares back.

jezuz christ, fucking psychos, all of them. anyway, QAF! ::waitwaitwaitangernagerannoymothertonoendhopehopehopecravetoast:: busy busy week! 2 tests today. 1 tomorrow and 1 friday! @o@ also on friday i am to be scared out of my pants... and go to the galaxy thing. I have to work on my gay russian ballet dancer book all this week. those russians... i really want a site for art/poetry.. and i've worked on a artblog-thingy... but i need to borrow rachelle's basement and her willing body, and then use all my film... and decide exact layout ::sigh:: saw anji and rachelle today. scaree hyper people. OH! i made it into the galaxy magazine! they're publishing one of my poems. it's kinda old :/ but i am still the awsome! KIKKOMAN FIGHT!
i hate getting into arguements.. and then not being able to say anything that will make it better. no idea what to say, so i can't say anything, which makes things worse.

owchies. i'm so sore... x.x ebul skiing. ::SQUEEEEEEE:: QAF! ::nudges kate:: we're gonna be buseh XD.
I went to pizza hut with mah mom and granneh, and we went shoppin'. got some manga, and a Duncan Sheik CD. No stores have any fohking smokie records ;_;!! damn seksi import-ness. OH! cookie dough bits i have! damn you, chelly, and getting me hooked on your foods. EGG FREE. i need to do homework, now...

i went skiing today! scaree ;_; i couldn't stop. the way i was told to just didn't work. so when i wanted to stop, i just made my self fall over XD; aae. my feet hurt sooo much before i even went down once. the skii-boots are painful. It was fun, i guess. i think if i had done it longer, i would have improved more, but i'm soo lazee.

eeehh.. kitteh got my valentine~letter ^.^ so even if my valentine's day was not the special, i made her the happae :3 ::sendslovingstothekitteh:: let's seeeeee... well, not much to say. I'm still breathing and such. going to a party tomorrow, being in pain. Rachelle wants to write a sequel about the Sockanese (for english class) ::groan:: pain..

woo. I need to order some shit from places... necklace, shirts... Might submit a poem to galaxy. Lyla is gonna be away over break. Don't know about the others. XP DG-man fears me. but DB-boy doesn't. (this entry is written for the sake of having something here?) all must visit emotion eric

aae. spent all weekend at lyla's. never want to do that again... midterms next week. wish to draw and play sneaky (metal gear solid). brain dead. ;_; ::sobs and crawls back into corner::

no one is online, i'm bored, i'm hungry, and i'm suppose to be working. So much homework tonight. augh. SFTC has been moved from today to thrusday, so i'll miss it inless j-club is cancled. My stalking days may end because of brian. He is threatening to tell brisson-boy that I'm stalking Gorgeous, if i don't tell him (brian) who *insert bitchmaster's s/n* is. Considering i'll never have the guts to make any attempt on my own to talk to Gorgeous, if Brian releases my s/n to him through brisson-boy, maybe he'll contact me so i can explain my insanities? Or he'll learn i'm a psychopath who loves gay men, and will forever ph33r my mere exsistance. yey. I would of told him who *insert bitchmaster's s/n* was, but this is kind of a chance? for shit? yey. ::fallsoffacliff:: OH! happy new year to all you crazee people who read this (ok, more like to kate and kitteh? who might notice it exsists? and lini, too.) OOOH, again. gorgeous-ness actually took his sweater off today @___@;;;; ofcourse with brian distracting me, with evil-ness, i had no time for oogling. ::sobs::

yar. my christmas...was a christmas? on monday i went over to hong's and hung out with lyla, sandy, rachelle and hong. kate came to give us presents, and she ended up staying. uuhhm.. lets see presents, presents. most of these were given to me in school. from: kate-qaf calender, lyla-hi chew(yum)~ magnetic earing~ bent 1996 penny and japanese cookie things, rachelle-spiked wrist band, anji-Amphigorey(morbid depressing book), sandy-teddybear. la. we played tony hawk pro skater 4 at hong's house. i came in 3rd ('cause i won part of the loser compitition) We had pizza, and then we went to see The Two Towers. It was 3 hours >_>; but a good movie. Then we all slept over at lyla's, except sandy. @.@; everyone wants to use me as a pillow when we went to seep. Lyla had my head, uuhhm.. hong and rachelle had parts of my legs and ass. kate used lyla as a pillow. I used my pillow as a pillow. let's see, i was taken home by my dad and had to pack shit for grandma's house. we had dinner at my dad's mom's house. beef on wick..whick? .. *.*;;;;;; yummy. I got 50 bucks, chocolate and a mouse ornament. Then we went to my mom's mom's place to seep. me and my bro watched some troll prince movie. SCARE. the troll prince learned of jezus and became a gnome o.o; It was a musical, and the girls who tought princy-boy of the jezus sang "god loves everyone, even evil trolls" it was horribly desturbing. Yea. I got some reading in (gay man book, thank god for jess-ness). We got to dig into our stockings in the morning. I got an awsome hello kitty bucket hat u_u;; ,a hello kitty snow man, an owl from harry potter and a kau (stuffed animals)... chocolate, a compass(the drawing kind), pony tails.. and such. Grandma got me some purply pajamas, a book on crafts O_o and peanut M&Ms. all which i accepted lovingly, though i'll prolly never see any of them again, save the pajamas. Then we went to my uncle's house. where there are dogs and cats and it smells funny, and there are flies in summer. I got 25 bucks and an art thing~ wee KNEADABLE ERASER. The food was good. We returned to my mom's mom's house, and, well.. me and tim ate some more. PATATOS. small cousin allie tried to video tape tim, but he had to practically sit on me to cover the lens. so the video consisted of "::hand coming towards screen:: allie-this is my cousin tim ::giggle:: ::hand on screen:: me-MY BONESdfsjhbgsdf" yey. uhm, we came home. the end.

la. i need to write kitteh's letter and package her funfungift >:3

i hate life. this ALWAYS happens to me. you get all excited over something, then when you get whatever it was, it's not nearly as great as you anticipated. Why do i bother anticipating? Why do i bother getting anything, it all sucks in the end. i'm always left half empty, if not all empty.

yey for pretty buttons! ^o^ tis break-ness-time! my back is killin' me, and my side has fucked it's self. I want chocolate and QAF!!!!! new chapter of Bridlewood Manor is up at ff.net *.*; i go read.

today has not been of lovelyness. D4V:D was not at j-club, i was going to remind him, but he left too fast... the pizza we bought for me, so we could freeze it was eaten by my asshole dad/brother or both... and they used to complain they didn't LIKE it! can't the make up their minds?!?! i just wanted to eat some fucking pizza, after walking home in the cold, and not getting to stare at david ;-; ...eer, the book Anji got me is weird, but i must read more. I spilled some milk by closing my science book, a few minutes ago... and i can't find the the program for the show i went to... Life generally sucks.. and where's my kitty? jen-jen brougt me a kitty rock keychain from Meh-ee-koh (mexico).. and it was on my desk, but now it's gone. ;_; and where's my other kitteh? la, can't wait for break x0x

aee~ I woke up at 4 in the monring, on the basement floor, picked myself up and went upstairs to my bed. I woke up again at 10:30-ish, and i was planning on getting up, but fell back asleep. Yet again, i woke up and it was about 1:30, and i got up and got dressed, then heard my mom say hello through the door. There goes my peaceful morning in a practically empty house. I had been hoping my parents weren't back yet. ~I like being in the house, when they aren't there. I like being all alone, wondering around the kitchen and the living room, playing a few notes on the piano, then staring out the windows.~ So, yea. I went downstairs and saw kitteh's letter on the table, which made me feel a bit better. I made my breakfast and read letter-ness. It was short, but better than nothing. I came down here to my basement of coldness, and no one was on. ::sigh:: boredom ensued, and i finished all the Bridlewood Manor Episodes that are up. :/ boredom continued, i wanted mints to cover the horrid taste that's in my mouth, so i went looking for them, nearly feel off the stool, and went storming back down here... then i had dinner, tuna and noddles. which was pretty good, except my parents always find it odd when i don't say anything, which pisses me off, but makes complete sense x_x. Kitteh was on eventually. We didn't talk much, but i was happy to see her ::sendsshnugglesandloveouttoher:: ;0;. la, looking back... the day wasn't THAT bad, i've just been feeling pretty blaaaah.

to kitteh, again.. ::was reading comments:: i just don't understand how people can think i can do one thing, just because i can do another, it doesn't make sense to me? it boggles my mind, and makes me mad, because *i* don't think i can do whatever it is.. x/

woo, ok! now explanation of where i was all weekend. On friday i went to lyla's and me and chelly slept over, and watched Rocky Horror! lyla didn't enjoy it as much as me and chelly did, though. Then we went to seep~ on Saturday we played Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4 @__@; We made charas!!! I made a gay man "Pretty man" and a lumber jack "Lumber Jack" :D Lyla and rachelle made girl charas, but chelly also made a midget man. Hong came over eventually, and she mad a girl chara, too. We had a tournament (which involved me, lyla, chelly, hong and lyla's bro micha) Lyla won in the end. Rachelle wanted to film a dummie's guide to molestation... We also went to see Maid in Manhatten, which was pretty good. Not of the kickarse-ness, but entertaining enough. Lyla and Hong walked there, and hong ran ahead, losing lyla. XP Me, chelly, tamlyn were driven by lyla's mom. Then we found lyla, who had lost hong, so lyla's mom drove all but me and tamlyn to barns and nobles (which is where lyla and hong were going to go first) and found hong and KATE, rachelle worked some majick, and kate's mom handed kate 20 mulas, and shoved her in lyla's mom's car XD; so me, lyla, kate, hong, rachelle, tamlyn and lyla's mom all saw the movie XP then were crack headed in the car ride to our seperate homes. LA. anyway, :O PIIIIZZZZZZAAAA. since i am now in the realm of boredom, i'll go take online quizzes! man are wintergreen mints good!! ::scoot::

life sucks, and why are people crazy? just because i "can" write poetry, doesn't mean i can do prose. why are we all blind? Why are the things that make you feel good, always the things you can never have while still maintaining happiness around you? What the fuck am i talking about... this thing isn't even worth having, really, not when i can't say anything i want on it, because all you fuckers are there reading it. oh, i'm sure you'll all be hurt by my rudeness, and now i'm thinking to myself that i don't give a fuck, but personally... that's not true, which is really tough when you feel like being an angry asshole and your love for the people you care about is getting in the way.... whatever the point may have been, I'm too upset to even write anything else... except that i'm fucking sick of everything. good day.

Yesterday in lab, a man climbed inside from the window o_o then left. onto today...
1st period... We made posters in social studies. she'll assign sections of the chapter to groups, and we have to draw the important points, no words. I drew some dude putting northern India together like a puzzle, and i drew a paintbrush.
2nd period... i had a voice lesson. Mr. Burger is out, so the pianoist (SHE B CANAAADIAN) did our lesson. she's nice, and gave good advice @O@ me and kate sang Memory together. It's actually my song, but i perfer singing it with someone else. It goes high, but it also goes low :D
3rd period... math, we reviewed stuff, havin' a test tommorrow.
4th period... science, we ..uh.. ::blink:: well, we watched a movie, i know that much... i was dead tired. Steve pulled my hood off and he wanted to give me detention for having it up.. but i just put it back up and went back to be ded.
5th and 6th period... free, ate lunch, worked on french project, started reading one of the books about the bible's view of homosexuality (not the negitive veiw)...
7th... english, we had a sentance diagraming quiz >__<;; it was a lot harder than the ones we had practiced on!! >O
8th... gym, gymnastics.. i hate floor routines, i'd rather be on the balance beam, doing mostly nothing and hoping i don't fall off.
then i came home, here i am @_@ i'm hungry.. must watch next QAF ep, do science hw, s.s. hw and study for math... and read bridlewood manor.. oh, i must think over kate's perposal of stuffness, too.. and email her back.

yey :D newlayout!! explanations are illeagle! I did mostly nothing today, except watch a QAF episode, read more of a fanfic, comment on kate's blog, chat, and make this layout (which wasn't that hard) i must go watch the next QAF epi, now!