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-Why?
My friend got a blog, and I decided I wanted one too... Now I can rant about my horrible life (which isn't that horrible) and other lovely things, like the EBUL PIZZA that my brother makes >x
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-Old Entries?
Page 1
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-Currently?
My life is srcrewed up.
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-Moi?
Name: Emily ... bleh :P
Online Namies: Akai, Akaikya...
Odd Nickname: Prince Of Egypt. o_O;
Location: New York
Birthday: Febuary 23rd
Sex: Female
Sign: Fishy!
Hobbies: ANIME JANK!, drawing, writing poetry, singing, chatting with mah online friends, reading yaoi/shounen ai fanfics!!! *-* 1x2 ish nummae~
Music Favorites: Savage Garden, and about a billion others
Future Goals: A website other than this, kiss dolls, winamp skins, music to go with the lyrics I write
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-Tests?
I AM 46% GOTH.
"Oh My Goth! You Goth, Girl. There is a
good chance I am bi. Freakiness pumps
through my viens, but I can still laugh
at myself."
I AM 35% GEEK.
"I probably work in computers, or a history
deptartment at a college. I never really
fit in with the 'normal' crowd. But I have
friends, and this is a good thing."
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-Linkies?
Dreams Come True
Furiku Kakumei
Kate's LiveJournal
Tig's LiveJournal
Erica's Life
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-Kawaii!!
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-Thankies!!
Pitas.com
Lini
HTML Goodies
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-Find Me?
Akaikya@hotmail.com
My Fanfiction.net Page
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-Whas That?
Eeeh. New pic up there, ees random cat thing i drew and colored, and wrote some lyrics for. It's a guy, if anyone is wondering, and ees in zee mud. ;.; he was abandoned ..::cry:: oh, drawn in openCanvas, lyrics writen in Painter Classic.
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~*~WATASHI NO KOKORO NAKA~*~
gaysexual! ..hmm.. geisekushuaru o_o
music: Weezer - Across The Sea
Everything is ded on Wednesday, December 12, 2001, at 05:38 p.m.
My blog is ugly. I have no kawaii style..I'm so boring..::sigh:: I need to get a livejournal layout like thing and crap. Brother left Pepsi can down here...shtuhpid brother... The world is royaly effed up, and I'm screwed in the head. Someone remind me not to fall in love again, it's a waste of time, energy and sanity. I've invented a new sexual preference, "Gaysexual" for those people who are only attracted to "Gay" people. Goody...I'm off to see my homework ... my wodnerful homework..of..fucked up stuff? ::poke Kyu-chyan (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE):: ..wonder if she's got that computer workin' yet
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la de day ~~ ^o^
music: CCS - Catach You Catch Me
Everything is ded on Monday, December 10, 2001, at 05:31 p.m.
Akai did ntot ake her ritalin today XD and she felt fairly goods..thugh she was DED TIRED Xo!!! ..talked to Hong-puu :3 ..o_o; that sounds odd >.> ..er..anyways..XD ..only saw kate once...NICOLE GAVE ME A SCARF ^O^ ..::shniggle:: ~~ fer ..however you spell that jewish holiday ::snerk:: smert akai. JO JO CAN TALKS SUPA DED SEKSI KAWAIIIIIII ^O^!!!
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::whimper::
music: Bjork - Aurora
Everything is ded on Saturday, December 8, 2001, at 06:57 p.m.
I'm scared..::shivers:: ..It's times like this when I wish soemone would hug me, and tell me it will be alright... but there's never anyone like that it seems, only kitteh... ;_; ...but she's not online right now..
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GOD DAMNED
music: The Strokes - Last Night
Everything is ded on Saturday, December 8, 2001, at 02:08 p.m.
I think my parents are hell bent on making me suffer for the rest of my god damned life =x=..oh maybe I should try a different medicine! also a stimulant, YEY! ..oh..I don't look sad! I must not be depressed! ..WOW ..aren't they BRILLIANT ...I'm so scared though..I don't wanna take the ridalin..it's so horrible.. and it's addictive, too.. ;_; ..it's like becomming a gate way drug to other addictive crap.. ::shivers:: my life is so screwed up... Can't believe I thought I was semi-normal once... The only support I have right now is my online friends, and Nicole and Lynzey, I emailed Kate but she hasn't emailed me back...
FUCKING PARENTS. Now I'm getting depressed from this whole situation x-x Use to be I would just get depressed for No reason... other than my fucking head convincing me that nobody cared about me... yea.. LOVELY... maybe I should take more of this ritalin! MAYBE I'D KILL MYSELF, OR YOU... IS THAT WHAT MY PARENST WANT??? SURE SEEMS LIKE IT... DO I DESERVE TO BE MISRABLE? NO. ..I CAN CONTROL MY GOD DAMNED URGES, I'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR AWHILE NOW, AND THIS MEDICINE DOESN'T HELP ONE DAMN BIT. YEAH, MY BORTHERS SUPPOSIDLY HAVE "ADD" SO AS SOON AS I HAVE TROUBLE PAYING ATTENTION THEY JUST SMACK ME WITH A LABEL SAYING "ADD"..NOT EVEN A DESEASE, ONLY A CLASIFICATION FOR A SET OF SYMPTOMS. WHAT KIND OF PARENST ARE THEY? MAYBE MEDICINE ISN'T THE CURE FOR EVERYTHING, AND I THOUGHT MY DAD WAS A GOD DAMNED DOCTOR. PPFFTTT, MORE LIKE A LIFE WRECKER.
and now I do my homework... without the "help" of my god damned "medicine."
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ebul ritalin
music: Powerman 5000 - When Worlds Collide
Everything is ded on Friday, December 7, 2001, at 03:20 p.m.
I hope Kate emails me back, soon... I'm beginning to wonder if I really am delusional...Not only are the delusions of things going on in my fucked up life... today I thought a sign at my school was a pikachu...
Ritalin..the supposid helpful medicine... SURE..well mine seems to make me depressed and misrable... I must tell my mom that it makes me depressed >:O! I WILL. YUS, AKAIKYA FUSHICHOU NEKO, YOU SHALL. ..hehe.
I must go play with kiss dolls!!! ja ne ^.^
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depression is not my friend
music: Verve Pipe - The Freshman
Everything is ded on Wednesday, December 5, 2001, at 05:17 p.m.
I've arrived at the conclusion that I don't really have many friends... and the friends I do have, don't know me that well. I'm also starting to think last week was all a dream...
havn't seen Evan in a long time..wonder what happened to him... hmm.. no mail from kate, no yaoi updates..I'm so pathetic...::sigh:: Maybe I'll fall off the risers tonight, my head will crack open, and I'll die... ofcourse..I'll never know who would care if that happens..'cause I'll be dead...anyways.. Lately, whenever I cross a street, I always wonder if perhaps a car will hit me. Lovely thoughts lately, yeah..
I went to the dentist today.. feels more like they're trying to kill your teeth, not clean them...
I hate winter..is it even winter yet? ..who knows..it's cold..that's bad enough. I hate the cold... it's too desolate for me, reminds me too much of myself...I suppose...
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::chew pretzal::
music: Bjork - Human Behavior
Everything is ded on Tuesday, December 4, 2001, at 07:15 p.m.
Was it all a dream
A beautiful nightmare
Can not tell where life ends
And all these dreams begin
Have you chosen to wipe it away
From your heart now
You pretend nothing has happened
Only to leave me
To a black hole of my mind
Do not understand the way you think
Do not know you better
Than when we knew it mattered
Can not tell what is going on
In your head as I scream to the dead
Was it all a dream
A beautiful nightmare
Can not tell where life ends
And all these dreams begin
A beautiful nightmare haunts me
From inside my mind
I can not keep ahead
Nor stray behind
I belong to a beautiful nightmare
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::eats toast::
music: Bjork - Sun In My Mouth
Everything is ded on Monday, December 3, 2001, at 08:54 p.m.
Why do people hold grudges? ... why do people hold grudges against people they don't even really know? ..Why bother..it won't do anyone any good..it can only give the satisfaction of knowing you're a jerk, too... Because you can't forget and forgive...I'm talking about the little things, by the way..I can understand the "he killed my father, I hate him" ..and crap like that..it makes more sence..anyways..I don't hold grudges...atleast not for long... Though I constantly diss people in my head, but eveyone has good and bad points, too bad the world can't except that.
hmm.. day went ok..not as well as I had hoped..SOMEONE informed me that Kate and Hong would be in ESP during lunch.. ::nugde Kate:: so I sat with Jenna and that crew..but Hong didn't go to ESP..so I didn't get to talk to her at lunch..ahwell..tomorrow's another day...and Kate is going to have me murdered..I havn't sold ONE lilac yet for J-club..but my dad can buy some, so maybe I'm safe....hmm..feelin' kinda depressed today..I get the feeling something has happened..don't know what...it's probably nothing.. ::shrug::
I need to get a notebook and write all my poems in it..so I can carry it around and look at it..and make people mad when is ay they can't see it...ofcourse if i showed them..they wouldn't really care...::sigh::
Akai has gotten the urge to wear jewlry..as in this ring on my finger..it's a mood ring..this tatoo bracelet..and this mood ring from North Carolina on a chain..for a necklace...yes..ever so unstylish, yey.
I want yaoi fics..daaahh..feck my punishment...i'll replace it somehow, anyways...hmm now i just gotta hope there are updates..
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deeehhh~~
music: Eve 6 - Girl Eyes
Everything is ded on Sunday, December 2, 2001, at 01:10 p.m.
Orange Juice makes you gay ^.^ I only drink it sometimes, but i do like it...which makes me bi XD yey~ ..I wonder if kate likes orange juice.. ::DIES::
AKAI PUNISHES SELF! ::punish:: ..No Yaoi fanfics for me till next sunday. >P ..I must break this BAD habbit, and earn yaoi fanfics... i care not to try and explain the bad habbit...and by the way.. the sting of wine on a cut in one's mouth feels good o_o..as i said before..I like pain..>< wine leaves a bad aftertaste, though..:spits:: blah : |
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::chew::
music: Vertical Horizon - You're A God, and other jank
Everything is ded on Sunday, December 2, 2001, at 12:08 a.m.
Ohui... it's so cold in my basement ;.; ..is it even winter yet? ..I don't know..but whatever it is..it's ebul. I hate the cold..means I gotta bundle up and walk to school all bundly..x.x..but this basement is freezing..eeps..the warmest part of me is prolly..my ass O.o; which I'm sitting on..and my left wrist..which I'm chewing on... Akai chews on her own wrist..yea...I jsut love sinking my teeth into my own flesh..I like pain....can't remember whta people like that are called..::bink:: my wrist looks really fucked up ...ya know..I could probably just eat my own flesh..if I was REALLY starving..but then I'd bleed to death ^.^..
.. this song is catchy.. "~boom boom boom, I want you in my room~" ...foogin' beat =x= ..it makes me..WANNA DANCE O__O ..::groove~~:: XD~....Another Night Another Dream is also catchy..I like Dance music X3;..DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION MUSIC RAWKS
TOKYO MEW MEW IS TOO CUTE FOR IT'S OWN GOOD.
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...
music: Puddle Of Mudd - Control
Everything is ded on Saturday, December 1, 2001, at 1:26 p.m.
Why does the world always fall apart underneith me? ...yey..depressing poem.. =o=
There's no answer to the question
There's no reason the rhyme
And once the day is over
We've run out of time
You watch what you say, please
Don't snub me away
Just because you're moody today
I know I can't do anything for you
So I'll shut up and keep out
There's no correction we can make
To the mistakes we've made
The only thing that would let
Us forget is the forgiveness
But we never seem to get that
There's no answer to the question
There's no reason the rhyme
And once the day is over
We've run out of time
Why can't we all just be happy
For once in our lives
You know when you turn around
One more body hits the ground
And the sound of my voice
Is the last thing
You find comfort in
Have you found the answers to the question
Have you found the reasons to the rhyme
The day is nearly over
We're running short of time
The old man is going blind
As we leave the world behind
Finally we've run out of time
The day is done the setting sun
Tomorrow already has begun
And it's all the same to me
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it's fucking freezing cold down here x-x
music: Cowboy Bebop - PAPA Plastic
Everything is ded on Friday, November 30, 2001, at 08:52 p.m.
Shtuhpid basement.. akaikya-chanya freezing ;.; ... ..daahh...Akai feel tired at school today..tired, hungry, sick and ded..x.x..but she felt better at end of day ^.^ .. and stayed after to hang with ::cough-giggle:: till her dad came to get her :B ..but akai was very quiet :x so ::cough-giggle:: talked most of the time ~ ;x; ....akai blame it on ridilin!! >O ..Mommae (kitteh) told me it makes me calm down so I can concentrate..which also would make me not as hyper happy which would make me not talk much.. ;_; ..and akai shy already so..yea.. life sucks =o= ..daaahhh.. I hate being light headed..makes me feel sick and ded-ness... bad bad for akai-chanya head headou. ;.; ..eerms anyways...Kate has not answer my emails in long time.. she better answer soon~..or i shall devour her feets >x ::stretch:: ..jingly chain~~ :D ::wiggle::...ahm freezing..x-x
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la la la~~ :0
music: Gin Blossoms - Hey Jealousy ....akai lums this song >0
Everything is ded on Wednesday, November 28, 2001, at 07:54 p.m.
well.. today I almost choked on a piece of plastic from my pencil, which i was chewing on ..when it went to the back of my mouth i starting coughing..not because it made me..jsut because i was hoping to cough it up..and after 2 coughs..i stuck my my hand in my mouth and got it out with my thumb..strange thing is.. when I remember it..it's not from my view..more like i can see into my mouth..and crap..weird....ahm psycho..
Hong called me~ told me she's sorry she bugged me to tell her what the secret was.. and..i'm far too lazy to tell anymore of the convo and whoever reads this is too lazy to read it..er..ya ..then kate called..and..well yea..that was different..she scares me..;.;!..well not really XD; ..and then kate calls back ~.... much phone for akai today XD..and right now akai is much happyness :3 and feelin' good..and has no new emails from kate >P and..is going to do homework..>.>;
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blah 9_9
music: Velvet - Boy Band (seksi italian muzik)
Everything is ded on Saturday, November 24, 2001, at 11:36 a.m.
My brother borrows my dad's screw driver..and doesn't put it back..(he has his own though)..so my dad comes in..and yells at him to go get it ..then my brother asks him if he could ask more politely ..and my dad yells more....and my brother gets it and throws it on the ground and runs upstairs..and than my dad diconnects him from the internet >O he's such an ass!! god..another reason why i'm afraid of my dad..you can't get by his anger..at all..if he's mad, everything goes his way, and if it doesn't.. he makes it.
o-o ::tries to give kitteh advice::
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YEY
music: Custom - Hey Mister
Everything is ded on Friday, November 23, 2001, at 111p.m.
DAH! LOOK AT EET.. FEEEL EET'S POWER ..er.. right-mouse-click and click save this file..and save it in your winamp/skins folder..yea..or whatever you normally do with skins
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eep o.O;
music: Eve 6 - Girl Eyes
Everything is ded on Friday, November 23, 2001, at 09:00 p.m.
daah.. i haven't even mentioned my thanksgiving ..eh..well I ate 3 chunks of tamatoe, 3 slices of cucumber..and a little bit of turkey o.o; i was too lazy to get some patatoes..I also had 6 frozen brownies, and many chocolate crinkles when i got home from relatives's houses.. I also had.. a serving of batman beyound, and a 60 minute serving of Dexter's Laboratory O.o;;;.. yeh..um..moo..:P ..I got a B in math x.x; .. but A in everythnig else, 'cept B+ in Gym and French.. :P waiii i get 25 bucks :B fer As that count for highschool credit..which means.. 50 bucks.. for Tech and Science.. ..hmmuh..i should prolly do some homework, so i dun have to do it all tomorrow.. and on sunday i will see Harry Poter.
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hehe~~~ X0
music: Eve 6 - Inside Out
Everything is ded on Friday, November 23, 2001, at 06:58 p.m.
wonderful but tender / heart in a blender / watch it spin around to a beautiful oblivion / rendez vous / then I'm through with you~~ ..I LUM THIS SONG XDDDD
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hehe~
music: Loreen McKennitt - Stolen Child
Everything is ded on Friday, November 23, 2001, at 06:35 p.m.
for no one's entertainment..I'm going to lsit all the Mp3s on my playlist..XD
Neon Genesis Evangelion - Cruel Angel's Thesis
The Vapors - Turning Japanese
James - Laid
Custom - Hey Mister
P.O.D. - Youth Of The Nation
Dexter Freebish - Leaving Town
Oasis - Champain SuperNova
Foo Fighters - Learn To Fly
Evan and Jaron - Crazy For This Girl
Barenaked Ladies - Pinch Me
David Gray - Babylon
Daft Punk - One More Time
Donna Louis - I Love You, Always Forever
Don Mclean - American Pie
Eurythmics - Talk To Me Like Lovers Do
Lit - Please Tell Me Why
Lenny Kravits - Again
Gin Blossoms - Hey Jealousy
La Bouche - Another Night, Another Dream
The Corrs - Breathless
The Cure - Friday I'm In Love
Stevie B. - Spring Love
Shawn Mullins - Everywhere I Go
Scritti Politti - Perfect Way
Sarah McGlachlan - Sweet Surrender
Train - Drops Of Jupiter
Train - Meet Virgina
Third Eye Blind - Never Let You Go
Three Doors Down - Kryptonite
Three Doors Down - Loser
The Cure - Love Cats (extended mix)
Venga Boys - Boom, Boom, Boom, I want You In My Room
Vertical Horizon - You're A God
Vertical Horizon - Miracle
Vertical Horizon - Everything You Want
Verve Pipe - The Freshman
Uncle Kracker - Follow Me
Pretenders - I'll Stand By You
Edwin McCain - I Could Not Ask For More
Robotech~MinMei~Reba West - We Will Win
Robotech~MinMei~Reba West - To Be In Love
Robotech~MinMei~Reba West - Stage Fright
Eve 6 - Toung Tied
Eve 6 - Girl Eyes
Eve 6 - Inside Out
Cowboy Bebop - Wo Qui Non Coin
Cowboy Bebop - Adieu
Cowboy Bebop - Flying Teapot
Cowboy Bebop - Call Me Call Me
Cowboy Bebop - The Singing Sea
Cowboy Bebop - Words That We Couldn't Say
Cowboy Bebop - You Make Me Cool
Cowboy Bebop - Don't Bother None
Cowboy Bebop - Blue
Cowboy Bebop - Green Bird
Cowboy Bebop - Rain
Cowboy Bebop - Chicken Bone
Loreena McKennitt - Fable
Loreena McKennitt - Stolen Child
Ozzy Osbourn - Dreamer
I MUST BE CRAZY, I JUST FUCKING TYPED ALL 61 SONGS ON MAH PLAYLIST O.o
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~~
music: Eve 6 - Girl Eyes, Loreen McKennitt - Fable
Everything is ded on Friday, November 23, 2001, at 07:04 p.m.
I definately want the Eve 6 CD... oogles ~ seksi voice!!... woot!! i luv blabbing with my brother about the crazy TV shows we watch together XD.. watching Adult Swim and The Critic is fun~ it's the only time that we really spend together, and what better way than through comedy? ..and i can talk to him about things my mom would NOT catch me speaking of >_> .. ..lol..
The Daily Show was NUHTS last night.. Minute Maid Orange Juice makes you gay :B..hehe..i like orange juice..and that's the kind we have..but i don't drink it ALOT, only sometimes..XD no wonder ahm Bi...gaah~~~..
Kate was ranting on Loreena McKennitt!~ lol..I LOVE Fable and Stolen Child *.*!!!!! ..THEY RAWK.. ..ah..what i find Ironic..is that much of the music i ahve on my comp..was all downloaded because i read the lyrics in 1X2 fics..X33;;; ..AKAI IS OBSESSED.
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GAH. :0
music: Cowboy Bebop - Chicken Bone
Everything is ded on Friday, November 23, 2001, at 06:23 p.m.
AKAIIIIIIII~~~II~I~I~II~~II~~II~I~I~I~I~IIIIII~I~I~II~I~I~I~II~II~I~I~I~I...>X0 ...
muscial akaiiiiiiii~i~~~iiiiii~~iiii~iii~iiiii :0
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DAH!!!
music: Cowboy Bebop - Chicken Bone
Everything is ded on Friday, November 23, 2001, at 06:18 p.m.
DAH!!.. Evan wants to buy akai the 3 Cowboy Bebop CDs... that akai wants so much!!!..he's so FOOGLIN' NICE!!!..but akai has only met him online..and she feel guilty..cause it will cost almost 150 bucks~ ;_; (<--THE SEMICOLON EYES!!!!) ..ano..he suggested it, though..not akai
XD;;;; ..akai so weird~ ::squiggle::
FIRST AKAI WINAMP SKIN ALMOST DONE!!!..and akai family havin' Rice and Tuna fer dinner :D~~ .. ..hmmuh.. Nicole just signed off.. and Mattou slow 'gasmed~~ hehehe >XD ..and TIGGEH IS ON~~ :B
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shittay
music: Custom - Hey Mister
Everything is ded on Wednesday, November 21, 2001, at 03:26 p.m.
The world is going to end, and we'll all die. Lovely prospect, ne? Pass the soup please. Fuck death. I'm hungry.
Something is going on, but akai will never know, for she is too unimportant. Nah.. that's probably not true, but akai must forget all she's heard.. although she's only heard enough to make her worry, over something she doesn't even know all the details on. Am I too unimportant to be allowed to care? ..Yes, I am, I am far from being allowed to do anything. The End.
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DUO PLUSHIE! ;.;
music: The Beach Boys - Kokomo ..lol XD;
Everything is ded on Sunday, November 18, 2001, at 08:49 p.m.
BWAHAHA! SHINIGAMI IS TAKING OVER! >:D
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why?
music: Aerosmith - Janie's Got A Gun
Everything is ded on Sunday, November 18, 2001, at 07:22 p.m.
ok.. I'm sitting here, playing on neopets.. and suddenly..IT'S RAINING, doesn't sound bad..ne?...well it's raining INSIDE, RIGHT NEXT TO ME, from some goddamned pipe on the ceiling.. so ofcourse i run upstairs and yell for my dad, because i'm freaking out! IT DOESN'T FUCKING RAIN IN MY BASEMENT EVERYDAY, YA KNOW. .. so..my dad yells at me, because i didn't jsut get a bucket and put it under the leak....GOD, I AM FREAKINGOUT HERE, MR. I AM NOT USE TO IT RAINING IN THE BASEMENT... why must he yell at me? ....WHY??.. HE'S JUST GOTTA YELL, YA KNOW. SO I CAN FEEL LIKE SHIT, even more than I usually do. I hate him so much.. he would of yelled at my brother's too, if they had came running because it was raining inside..but i already feel unloved by him enough..not much can change that.. I've just never felt very close to him.. and i've also felt rejected by him.. god.. ahm such a loser ..lol ..just to entertain all you assholes out there who are readig this for a good laugh.. i'll tell you of my rejectionedness ...
lets see.. when matthew took flute..my dad would play the flute too! yus. he was learning with matthew.. and then when tim took violin..whatdaya know..?..he learns violin, too! ...now..here comes me..i start the viola..does my dad once pick up the viola??..once even care that i want him to?? .. NO.. he does not care, he doesn't even try..DOESN'T EVEN TRY, GOD FUCKING DAMNIT.. .now for another tale of sorrow..
My dad nicknamed my brothers..and actually called them by these nicknames..Matthew was "Thewey".. Timothy was "Mothy" ..Emily..emily..well..I had to ask him to find me a nickname >_< .."Mily" ..er..x.x;.. and neevr did he call me by this name..nope nope....he still calls matthew "thewy" ..and sometimes calls tim "mothy" ..but he neevr calls me anything..not that it matters..i never want to talk to him anyways...
I remember..when i was bad when i was little.he would yell at me..and i'd be sent to room..and i'd cry.. and claim everyone hates me..except for Strawberry..(my faithful stuffed animal cat) ..and isabelle (real cat)..and when i was really upset..i told myself nobody loved me..I guess I abused myself as a child.. nowwonder i have such low selfesteem... .anyways...ano.. I'll never be close to my dad.. and prolly not verra close to my mom... dear god..I woin't even let them touch me, and i freak if my dad tries to play with my braid..eep..i'll prolly never get close to anyone in "reallife" ..and I'll deffinately never fit in anywhere..not even onlnie..::sigh:: ..well i better be getting to mu homework.. not that i've told you all my horrible life story of crap, and you all don't care..well 'cept kitteh, tig, lini, crys, and kate to some extent...
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pop goes the world ~ XD
music: Men Without Hats - Pop Goes The World
Everything is ded on Friday, November 16, 2001, at 11:54 p.m.
nyaa~~ lets see..I felt like shit when i got home from school, my head ached like hell and i felt like throwing up. I got to miss my dentist appointment, cause the dentist would not of liked being thrown up on..hehe..yea I feel better now... I wonder where Sonya has gone ~ ..la dee da... and when will kate get AIM? ..lol, I'm exiticed X3...must get peruru kawaii adoption! ..nyaa will do later...I added Kate's LJ to my linkies :3~
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DED
music:
Everything is ded on Monday, November 12, 2001, at 05:24 p.m.
Everything is ded ;.; nu yaoi updates this week it seems..and the Anime Turnpike is now the American Cancer Society..WHY???? ..oh the pain.. ;.; ..Livejournal won't show me any of my friends' journals..and i have to do my science homework o.o; ..kate has not emailed me back..i have not finished my winamp skin yet.. i think any kiss project i was working on will die intill perhaps summer..where is sonya? ..i miss her.. ;.; everything is in a state of verra dedness. and I hate winter .. stuhpid winter and it's ded crap.. go 'way ;_;
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music:
Everything is ded on Sunday, November 11, 2001, at 10:34 p.m.
I am officially addicted to Neopets, lol XD;; ..I have a Lupe, his name is Teapot ^.^! ..well actually it's Kyuusu (japanese for teapot)
WAAAA! ..;.; Puddle Of Mudd ees so seksi..me want CD...
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music:
Everything is ded on Saturday, November 10, 2001, at 10:50 p.m.
I'm fucked up. I swear. i say that alot don't i...nyaa I'll never get anywhere in life..i'm hopeless ..I'm just so lost..it's pathetic, ne? .. and the people in my life who are suppose to be my "friends" ..hm they wouldn't care that i feel like shit..it's not their problem. why are online friends so much better?..and where the hell is Sonya? I miss her..and when i say "friends" that does not include Lynzey, Nicole and Kate, cause they all rawk..and might actually care about me.
..I have established that Nicole is Ephbii-Jei. as in FBJ, Fake Bastard Jesus, because she loves children ...that's um.. interesting ne? ..anyways so she's Ephbii-Jei and ahm Satan. I'm an odd person, ne? ..I must have Puddle Of Mudd CD...
I can't write for shit, prose that is. poetry is so much more easier. ::stares at beginning:: I have no life. feck it all, I'll start with a plot if I ever try again, lol. it might help. I was not meant to be a writer... poetry yes, prose, no. I may try soem original thing sometime, but I don't think I can do fanfics. it would only be a sad mistake.
must put Maniac Mansion on this compy..MUST PLAY IT. that game was nuts..it had radio active crap. ! MU57 P|_4Y 337.
..lol, I've been reading MegaTokyo! KICK ASS MANGA! ..my art sucks, ahm such a loser, why do i exsist? why am i complaining to you? who ar you?.. fucking nameless bastard, you! go away! you can't read about my life, cause i don't have one. goodnight.
~ don't hit me where it hurts ~
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Everything is ded on Friday, November 9, 2001, at 10:40 p.m.
Kate finally emailed me back, she just hadn't checked that mail in awhile XD..lol ... SHE LIKES YURI/YAOI AND SUCH!!!! *.*!!!! WAAAAIIIIII ::SKREEMS:: XD and she thinks it's cool that I'm bi~ lol! life is good XD ..that was so not me..PPFFTT AHM HAPPEH FOR ONCE!!
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Everything is ded on Friday, November 9, 2001, at 05:29 p.m.
gyaaahhh.. le's see... hm. well i continue to conclude no one cares that i exsist. maybe jess..well..he cares that i say hello to him..he wants me to say hello ..o.O;..interesting. not going to teen thing.. waste of time, effort and my sanity. though i have the urge to go just to hang with sean.. ok, i'm screwed up.
.Mr. Wilson asked me why i was snickering in tech.. i wasn't trying to snicker..there wasn't anything funny ..o.o;..
I drew very amusing drawings in Amerika Hiss (american history), today.. o.o including a bowl of rice being eaten by a ball of...um.. something..that had large teeth. ..Science was ok.. we had a French test.. EASY EASY EASY! ..^.^ .. er..o.o I have all my guy teachers on days 2 and 5.. and all my girl teachers on days 3 and 6.. >.> ..me moj podged Nyx today .. hees sehkshii lookin' ..me take picture sometime and scan...
J-Club (japanese club) today ..hehe.. kate calls it that ^.^ .. we did basically nothing XD .. well i er..acted crazeh, my meds were nu working :P and I practiced my hiragana ^_^! I've almost got it all, now. wai wai!! ..mmnn kate says ahm gettin' so good XD lol.. she rawks :P her style is so different XD good stuff.. oh oh! Kate gave me addy to her LiveJournal >;o
nnmm... memories, good times.. :P me and kitteh were chattin'bout the old days. ..oo! XD Kate's enjoying learning HTML.. somewhat..her journal is black and violet *.*
nyaa.. whas..going..to say something o.O ... CRUEL ANGEL'S THESIS RAWKS, and so do those bunnies Nicole drew XDDD...must..go check..for..yaoi..updates..o_o.. >.>
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Everything is ded on Friday, November 8, 2001, at 11:30 p.m.
I swear.. I'm not important. probably never was, never will be..anyways... Jenna got some of those freakish new pants in style at my school. They look like they've been worn out and faded on the front, and on the back.(there's flares)..and normal on the sides.. 'cept hers were faded and stuff on the front, and on the back only fade below her ass...yea..that was odd. God. She's so imposible to please.. I didn't walk upstairs with her this morning, 'cause i didn't wanna be late, so later she complains that i didn't walk with her, and she didn't get to show me her new belt and pants. New pants,yey? ..and when she like does soemthing new with her hair, or such... when people don't notice (more like don't say anythnig about it) she complains that we're all stupid and blind... hmm.. now about the clothes thing.. she's like wearing whatever's popular, nowadays.. I'm starting to wonder if she's getting ahead, or if I'm falling behind.. but in the long run maybe i'm ahead... and she's falling behind.....or maybe i'm a fucked up gay freak who's too quiet and ignored to even matter.. yea, that's exactly right..nobody cares these days.. really.. erg.. i bet my online friends don't even miss me..well..'cept maybe lini....i wonder where sonya is right now..hmm.. wanna talk to her.. no, nothnig to talk about.. we don't really know each other that well i feel.. it was all sex.. i wish it hadn't been.. maybe soemday we'll be closer in a less "physical" way..
Kate has a LiveJournal.. i really wanna read it.. oh.. like she would let me.. maybe i can find it somehow though..need to ask ehr what her email addy is.. ..why the hell do i want to read it? .. don't know..just do.. i need something to do.. i'm tired of staring at the cover.. if only i had the courage to open up the book, and dive in to the pages...hmm.. i wonder if Hong has a LiveJournal.. FAT CHANCE i'll ever know..hong prolly hates me..don't know why.. she never speaks a word to me, not even a hey, when we see each other in the hall.. i always look at her if she's not facing my way..hm, she probably avoids me as much as she can....as for my other "friends" .. Jenna..yea, she's such a bitch..an unsatisfiable bitch..-_-...Bridgette..is a overly religous freak.. but she's still nice.. sorta....Jess.. er..he's jess.. and he's not as feminine anymore ;.; ..what happened to mah femme boy? ..my femme boy..PFFT. never mine, never will be 9_9 .. Josh..er i don't talk to him.. Sean, same old idoit who finds it fun to make fun of everything. Lynzey..nm. she's still the same old boy obsessed lynzey, who actually cares about me ^.^.....Nicole..aahh.. nicole kicks ass ^_^ ..she rawks,yup yup....now that
You don't need me anymore
I'll just go away
Slowly slipping out of reach
There's no reason to stay here
When there's nothing good to feel
Just all the loneliness
You don't need me anymore
You didn't ever, did you?
And you never will
I've come to believe
That you never needed me
At all
Don't look at me with question
Don't glance back at what you thought was a friend
How can you say we were so close
When really we were always at a distance
I won't pretend when you won't let me in
I can't take part in your false dreams
Just all the loneliness
You don't need me anymore
You didn't ever, did you?
And you never will
I've come to believe
That you never needed me
At all
I'll just fade away
It won't really matter
You don't see a change
And if you did then you don't care for me
You never answered when I was alone
You never thought maybe I run to see if you
Really care about me
That's why I walk away
This is why I choose not stay
To just fade away
It's all the loneliness
You don't need me anymore
welll.. i wrote that while i was waiting for pita to live again..it likes to die on me..
I'm done ranting, i must go to bed. 'night
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Everything is ded on Sunday, November 4, 2001, at 03:32 p.m.
Suppose to be doing homework..lovely convo between me an eric..
Me: hey... are you.. you?
Eric: ya why
Me: .. uh huh..
Eric: why
Me: that's what they -all- say.
Eric: ya emily ya
Me: ..you're just one of -them-
Eric: juat like u
Me: exactly, -my- point.
Eric: one of those radiactive rats
Me: yes..
Me: just what i was thinking.
well, he's interesting today...hmm.. where's mah mommae... ::sighs:: where be you kitteh~?..I'm in a weird mood..
Me: if i was you, and your were me.. and we were both neither of us.. then what would YOUR MOTHER be?
Kevin: An insult
Me: k, then.
...
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Everything is ded on Sunday, November 4, 2001, at 02:32 a.m.
Heero with a fetish for junk phude, secks toys and duo... that puts a new edge on things...and that fic with heero as a porn star.. is a -different- approach to AU fics,i must say... and here's a lovely poem akai's mind came up with, while listening to "I Want To Fuck You Like An Animal" and reading yaoi..
fuck all the reason
fuck all the control
oh, just fuck it all
but fuck me most of all
yeah.. well anyways.. I should go to bed..ees already 2:35, damnit.. church in the morning, then homework.. feck... I need more free time. i should of finished my winamp skin today.. stuhpehd me.
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Everything is ded on Sunday, November 4, 2001, at 12:50 a.m.
Well, the layout looks like mud, ne? good. hhmmuh.. yaoi updates! .. THANKYOU OH GODDESS AYA. ::praise:: ..nya nya!! ohh ohh!! kitteh uploaded seksi artness of hers!! ..hmm me go read yaoi now. ja ne!
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Everything is ded on Saturday, November 3, 2001, at 09:00 p.m.
I should live my whole life useing slut and bastard and such in by their original meaning, or atleast make it my job to correct everyone who doesn't.. just to annoy YOUR MOTHER!!!
Don't we luv our dirtay songs?
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Everything is ded on Friday, November 2, 2001, at 07:44 p.m.
Pretty Punk-Rock Baloney Sandwich .... chicken bone....bleh...kate called me.. she sounded ded.. and sad.. i feel bad.. but i don't want to wake up so early in the morning.. i finally get a relativly free weekend.. i don't want to paint lilac flower pots.. i still feel bad.. i hope kate wasn't dissapointed.. i wonder if she wanted -me- to come.. yea right.. she never did reply to my email.. she must think i'm a freak. I wrote some more stuff, too lazy to post it. need yaoi.. le sigh..
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Everything is ded on Sunday, October 28, 2001, at 12:46 PM
Rose-Tinted Glasses
Those rose-tinted glasses
Shatter with the tears
I can't believe you were so blind
Thought I loved you, all these years
Your grace will crumble away
To be forever spoiled
Your face will wrinkle
All the more
But before these occurrences
I never have loved you at all
The rose-tinted glasses
You wore on a dainty noes
Swirled with a sense of selfishness
Twisted with a fine wire of gold
Pure as a fool's heart and soul
Those rose-tinted glasses
Shatter with the tears
I can't believe you were so blind
Thought I loved you, all these years
Take off those rose-tinted glasses
Let the rose petals shatter
There's no reason to wear them anymore
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Everything is ded on Sunday, October 28, 2001, at 12:41 PM
Hehe..::points at Fluffy, in kawaii section:: :B seksi fluffy..::giggles:: ::roll'saround:: ...nu want do homework ;.; ::read BORING science:: .. V4/V7 Y40: ;.; ::wonders if that's written right:: >->
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Everything is ded on Saturday, October 27, 2001, at 05:40 p.m.
::squee:: O.O; ..er...on the Jenna's catagorizing stuff it says "Jenna's Church" ..eees suppose to be Synagog, er however u spell it. gomen jenna o.o;; .. not that she reas this, er anything >->
::flails:: ;__; me nu know what to get kitteh fer birfday :x ..she's gonna read this, and know why i'm flailing and makin' sad faces XD ::gig:: I'm a dork XB .. o_o ::has idea!:: :x!! ::scamper'saway:: >d
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Everything is ded on Saturday, October 27, 2001, at 05:37 p.m.
Any of my old entries are in on my old entries section @-@;;::points below "why? section":: ..cause this thing is so long o.o; ..so like see pictures here XO (load faster) and go read stuff there :o.. ::Flails madly:: x.x
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